It Doesn't Look Like I Had Imagined

How many times in life have you said that about a situation or season? I know I'm not the only one! A little more than 2 years ago, my family and I set out on a journey together, jumping off the deep end, in faith, into the unknown. My husband and I had a God-given vision of acquiring land and building a legacy for His Kingdom and for our children. As I've shared with friends many times lately, I'm a black and white person, meaning when I feel a nudging of the Holy Spirit, I take it to the bank and expect to see it play out somewhat immediately. He doesn't work like that though, as I'm slowly but surely learning.

After a 3-month cross-country road trip, 11 1/2 months on a farm in Nashville, and 11 1/2 months living on our dear friends' property in Franklin, lots of lamenting, praying, some fasting, tears, frustrations, mulling every fact and word of the Lord we've received in the last handful of years, we landed on a rental home in Thompson's Station, just 13 minutes south of where we currently have been residing. I'll be honest, it was a tough decision to make. But the Lord said "Franklin!", is what we keep going back to. However, towards the end of our decision-making process, I randomly thought of the story in Genesis 22 of when, out of obedience to the Father, Abraham took his son, Isaac, to sacrifice; the Word tells us that Abraham walked with Isaac up the mountain, tied him up, laid him on the altar, stretched out his hand to kill his beloved son, then at the last second, God provided a ram. Jehovah Jireh. Abraham didn't have to take Isaac's life after all, but he proved to the Lord his love and obedience by being willing to sacrifice his son...his dream. Lately, at random, I've also thought of lyrics Meredith Mauldin penned a few years ago from her song, Dreams in a Basket:

I put my dreams in a basket
Let em go let em go
Carried by the river
Watch em flow watch em flow
I surrender all my vision
Of how this will unfold
I let go

So many times I've had a wave of grief and disappointment come rushing at me but I haven't allowed it to knock me down because I've seen the past faithfulness of my kind Father. I've come to the point of questioning and doubting but haven't allowed those thoughts to consume me because I know He is a God that won't lie. I've seen His goodness too much to stay in the funk of, "this doesn't look like it was supposed to!"

I think what we so often forget in the different seasons we go through is what really matters: our character, our dependency on Him rather than ourselves, and the connections we make along the way. The friendships I've made on this insane journey over the past 2 years are irreplaceable. The 6,000+ miles our camper went, allowing us to see a good bit of our beautiful country that some may never witness, the close quarters we as a family were able to live in and be present with each other, the countless talks about God and what we see and feel Him doing and saying to us...all of the little in-between moments and lessons we've experienced and learned are irreplaceable. 

As we transition out of the camper and into our next temporary home, I'm holding on to the vision and dreams the Lord has birthed in me and us as a family while taking a step forward into the next chapter of our journey. I'm taking this step with eternity in mind and a simple question to myself, despite things not looking as I had imagined they would: What are the things I'm supposed to do in this next season that will be stepping stones for what is to come?

If your current situation or season isn't looking quite like you imagined it would, don't lose hope and don't give in to the trap that Satan laid out for Eve in asking her, "Did God really say...?" (Gen. 3:1) I would encourage you to take a step back and look from a higher vantage point. What do you see? As I recently shared with my newly minted 8-year-old: Name just one good thing in your life right now.

I promise there's a silver lining, even if things appear cloudy right now.

I promise there's a reason for, what feels like, a delay.

I promise He's faithful.

Things may not look like how you imagined they were supposed to, but what if, on the other side of this season, they're even better?